On Interaction

I want to take a second to say thank you, sincerely, to everyone who has commented here on my blog or on Facebook about my entries here.  There are times when I've felt a little bit like I'm tossing my words off into a great black void.  It's weird; if I don't show anyone my work - like those novels I wrote and lost in our fire before showing a soul - I don't feel nervous at all.  But it feels strange when you're writing and know it's out there somehow, that people can read it, that they might have read it.  Maybe they hated it! Oh god, maybe they think my writing reeks!  Maybe they think I'm a crazy pretentious nutcase!  No, that's only my husband and only because I do thinks like call him obdurate, and then he has to tell me he'd be offended if he knew what I was talking about.

Don't worry, I explained, and he agreed that my assessment was actually correct.

I've finished another five on my trek to read 111 books this year.  My goal to read 50 before my birthday might actually be in sight, though I have a feeling I'll fall a tiny bit short on that one.  Less than a month and a half to go and only halfway...

21. Sickened : the true story of a lost childhood Gregory, Julie

22. Hush: a novel White, Kate

23. The weight of silence Gudenkauf, Heather

24. Sh*t My Dad Says Halpern, Justin

25. Killer takes all Spindler, Erica

I need to not read memoirs involving child abuse any more.  Sickened had me sobbing through a great measure of the book, and feeling the need to go rescue the children in the tale and take them home and smother them with kisses and care.  I know the author is an adult, older than me as a matter of fact, but that didn't change the way my heart reacted.  No more of those for a while.

The Weight of Silence was positively wonderful, on the other hand.  It's a tale of abuse, and secrets, but is fiction so it didn't wreck my heart so horribly.  It's also full of suspense and twisty story lines to keep anyone intrigued.  The tale follows two little girls, best friends.  One has not spoken since she was four years old, due to a traumatic event she witnessed.  One reads her silent friend easily, and has become her voice.  When both mothers awake to discover their children missing one morning, vanished into the woods behind their homes, the ensuing search outs most of the family secrets they both hold. I recommend it highly.

Also, for those wondering how on earth I'm getting through so many books so fast, it's just a matter of setting priorities and choosing books over things like TV and net surfing and games and such.  Because some of the books are audio, I'll listen while I walk, clean the house, cook, work on needle craft or paper crafts and so on.  I have given up on a lot of TV, and haven't even watched one episode of American Idol this year, which will probably shock a good lot of you that've known me for a while.  Plus, I'm choosing all titles that really grab my interest, so that makes it fun.  A challenge like this shouldn't be a chore, but a blessing.

Why?

Why do I blog?

Back when I was first married, I was an avid LiveJournal-er.  I had bunches of friends, very few of whom I knew in the "real world" and wrote every day on what it was like to be a newlywed living in a new country under a pile of ice and snow.  I laid my struggles bare, and trumpeted my triumphs to the world, and I loved it. I loved the comments and the feeling of community, the expression of thoughts, ideas, dreams and painful moments as well.

Back when I was a high schooler and college student, I journaled in real books.  Cloth covered and leather bound, filled with a multitude of variously coloured pens, occasional drawings and horomone-induced rants and raves, they chronicled mood swings and lost romances to what I was sure would be enthralled archaeologists reading them in the next century.

After our "year of hell" in which my husband and I lost our daughter and our home in different incidents, I started journaling in a "real" book again, though it was an art journal this time.  It healed me, in many ways, because I kept track of all the reasons life was still beautiful.

Recently, my husband and I have been talking about why I found it hard to make friends in the past (in Grande Prairie) and why it's been easier since I've been in Strathmore.  I think that part of it has to do with being more willing to talk about myself, where in the past I've had a very hard time opening up to people.  I'm able, however, to open up very easily in writing.  So in a way, this is kind of practice for me.  Opening up about my writing is new to me.  Of course, writing internet content is new to me as well, so why not double the new?  I miss journalism, and I miss fiction writing, since I don't seem to have the time for it that I used to, but it's easy to blog in the little caught moments during the day.  It keeps me in practice, when I'm writing mountains of articles about things I don't really care about very much, both in writing from the heart and opening my heart.

I think much of what I've written has been critical of the companies I write for, but I am grateful for the chance to write for pay again, too.  I'm a little nostalgic feeling about Mahalo - I ranted about them a lot, and it's a little bittersweet that they're closed down for now.  Of course, until they pay me correctly (they still owe me back pay) I'll probably remain more bitter than sweet.  I'm angry that they seem to make policy changes - like on how they pay writers - without notification and you are left to sort out what happened yourself.  I'm angry that 75% of the emails I sent to my manager were never replied to, especially when I was having a problem and needed an answer, such as with the pay issue.  I'm sad that they can't seem to get themselves together, because most of the "management" people there seem like genuinely nice folks.

I feel less connected to people at DMS, probably because I don't participate much in the forums.  Yesterday, while trying to remedy that, I came across a post on the forum referencing another site, which is essentially a rant site about DMS.  Okay, so I'm familiar with "mean girl" forumnations.  Oh too familiar in some ways, but I was genuinely surprised that there was one at DMS, since for me, they've been the most positive experience I've had writing content (at least so far).  I was shocked at the number of people that talk about DMS being a scam or the fact that they are making money off of a writer's hard work.  This is nothing new in the world; everywhere I've worked I've had folks above me who made more money than I did, often for doing less work than I did, and have taken advantage of my willingness to work for a wage.  I don't think it's something you can escape from.  When I worked for a publishing company in the past, it was the same thing.  Yeah, sure, it was "real" journalism, which what I'm doing now isn't, not in any meaningful way.  But the publisher made more money than me.  I was asked to cover things (review art openings or plays) more for people who were big advertisers than for people who weren't, and occasionally I was asked to write articles about specific things that I wouldn't have chosen as my own topics.  That's the way life is.

I suppose I sound a little Pollyannaish - oh heck, lets go all the way Pollyanna, and play the glad game.  I'm glad I have a chance to write for pay.  I'm glad I can work from home or from places I travel to with my husband when he's travelling for work.  I'm glad to have money.  I'm glad to do something I like.  I'm glad that places like DMS exist, and I'm glad I can contribute to them.  I don't think that I'm a "part of the problem" or a bad person or a bad writer for writing for them, though that appears to be the consensus of some people who don't write for them.  Yep, they're a content farm.  Yep, a lot of the content they produce is fluff.  Yep, there's a demand for it.  If I'm not filling that demand, someone else will be, why not do my best to create quality in the content that's out there?

Grammy Fever - Sis Boom Bah Crash....

I had a blast live blogging the Grammys for Mahalo.  Until, that is, my computer decided to have a rather girly hissy fit and puke all over the rug.  More about that later.

One of the best parts of live blogging is the interaction with others who are writing at the same time.  The expressions of horror over Nicki Minaj's dress for instance - the favourite page of mine that I was able to blog on that night - or the delight over certain winners.  (I'll admit it, I was rooting for Train and Lady Antebellum all night.  Two of my favourite songs of last year came from them).  I get a lot out of the live blogging, as well as putting in a good amount of work of course.  They have such a lovely team at Mahalo, and the immediate feedback of hearing I did a great job on a page is nicely rewarding.  I'm hoping to work on the Academy Awards at the end of this month as well, though once award show season is over, I'm guessing there won't be a whole bunch of opportunities to live blog.  Hm, I'll bet it'd really be something to live blog the Olympics - it'd be practically 24/7!

As for my computer, it's been doing this weird thing lately where it says I have no speaker hardware installed. I googled the situation, and it looked like several people had this problem not long after installing Windows 7, which I did about a month ago.  I was told to reboot, which should resolve it.  Okay, so the first time it happened, one reboot did it.  The second time, I had to reboot twice.  The third time?  Four times.  Uh oh, if it kept doubling I was going to be rebooting ridiculous amounts of times pretty soon.

At the same time, I'd been having a lot of trouble with .pdf docs and flash player items crashing my browsers, so I went ahead and updated both my adobe reader and flash player.  Thought I was all good.  Then during the grammys, everything started freaking out.  Flash was crashing.  I couldn't watch videos.  That was okay for a while, I had the coverage on my dvr that I could watch to blog on.  The browsers were crashing.  The sound was gone.  I couldn't get the computer to stay together for more than a minute or two.  After eight reboots, EIGHT, I was able to get back into Mahalo's irc and finish the page I was working on.  I thought I was all good, took another page on, and boom, crash, system error, your windows did not shut down correctly.  Gah!  I had to call it a night about an hour early.

Luckily for me, I have an in-house computer tech, who spent a few hours taking things apart, trying various options, and finally told me my sound card was toast.  At first we thought that the replacement of that would fix everything, but soon discovered it went deeper than that.

So, now I am typing to you on a new-to-me used laptop that we picked up.  It's only a couple of months old, so that's okay.  My old laptop was from 2008, and I'm well aware that technology is only meant to last a year nowadays.  But I can be back to work today, as I have sound and the ability to play videos again...

FAQ Day!

I've been getting a few questions since I started blogging, mostly off-site, because one of the biggest questions is about commenting.  I decided to do a FAQ day to address all of those.  Also, I am headachey and having a hard time working productively today, so I decided it was time to write something a little more "fun" to alleviate some stress.

How do I leave a comment on your blog?

This is the most common question, and it's surprisingly easy to answer.  If you have a google account of any kind - Gmail, AdSense, YouTube, Google Documents, Google Friend Connect or, of course, Blogger, just log in at the top navigation bar, and when you comment below the post, it'll use your Google account information.

If you don't have a Google account and don't want one, that's okay too!  Use Name/URL from the drop down menu, and enter whatever you like, whether it's the URL of your facebook page or some news story you like.  I really don't care what you use for a URL, just as long as I know it's you (if you want me to know!) You can also comment anonymously, though sometimes the Blogger system will pick that up as spam.  If it's a legit comment though, I'll de-spammify it.  I swear.  Even if it's bad - I don't mind criticism.  Usually.

I'm still having trouble commenting.  Help?

Really, there's nothing else I can do.  I have removed all the spam blockers, including the prove-you're-a-human test where you have to type in those warped little letters.  I have tried looking up other solutions, really I have.  I don't know what the issue could be.  It's possible my blog is just broken somehow, judging by how many people are having problems.

How can I get a job at Mahalo?

If you really are interested, this is the hiring link: http://mahaloteams.com/guide/

I'm not sure if they are actively hiring still, or if they are on hiatus with the new M4 software rollout.  Hey, it's worth a try, though, right?  The system is very buggy still right now, and there are a lot of issues being worked out, but if you're game to give it a go, go for it!  At least if you've read my blog, you'll be going in with your eyes wide open!  If I know you, feel free to say I referred you. If you are some stranger from Russia who came across this blog while surfing for large woolen hats or something, I'm gonna tell the bossman I haven't a clue who you are if he asks.  But do drop me a line and tell me how you came across my blog in your search for winter headgear.  Was it the crocheted laptop bag?  Hm.

How on earth will you have time to read 111 books this year?

Well, I dunno.  I read before bed every night, and listen to audio books while I do housework, walk, and in better weather, while I garden.  I read instead of watching TV to relax a lot of the time.  Richard and I listen to audio books in the car when we're travelling together.  It's about reading for pleasure this year, too, not just for enlightenment or education, so don't expect to see a ton of stuffy, academic books on my list.  There will probably be a couple, because sometimes I find those fun, too, and I find a steady diet of fun books is kind of like a steady diet of frosting.  You need a steak once in a while, too.  And broccoli.  I'm one book away from posting my next set of five, which will bring me to 15.  I was hoping to read 50 before my birthday in mid-April, and I'm about on track for that I think.  I read less in the nice weather, because I spend more time outdoors, although last summer I spent a lot of time outdoors reading - so who knows!  I only live a block from a park where I can sit and read, and have a backyard that's shady and cool in the summer afternoons, so we'll see how it goes.