Book Review - Attaching in Adoption

Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents by Deborah D. Gray
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I've read so many adoption books in the last couple of years that they are starting to run together in some respects. They often give the same advice, in different words, and to that degree, this book is not much different from others I have read. And yet, it kept my attention riveted much more so than most of the others.

The reason? Well, I suspect that it's the real-life vignettes that pepper every chapter. It's difficult to imagine, before you are even in these situations, what it might really be like to face the challenges that professionals outline. However, when you're reading the stories of real parents and real children, it hits home in a different way than a list of possible problems and therapies does.

Attaching in Adoption gives a clear, concise outline as to what issues children may face, the different stages of attachment and how children react when attachment bonds are lost during each stage, and how to attach to children in any of those stages, including those who are having attachment difficulties. Some problems are of course exacerbated by additional problems, such as delays in development and/or affects from neglect, abuse and more, and this book also covers those issues, as well as the scary buzzword that throws fear into the hearts of all adoption-hopeful parents, "RAD."

This book was interesting, but I'm afraid I didn't retain as much of the information as I should have. I'm going to read it again once our kids are home, to hopefully absorb the information most pertinent to them in a more thorough manner. Going in and not knowing what issues we're going to face makes it all very overwhelming, but I appreciate that this author sees no situation as "hopeless" and gives practical methods to overcome all attachment obstacles.

View all my reviews

Book Review - A Grown-up Kind of Pretty

A Grown-Up Kind of Pretty by Joshilyn Jackson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Every fifteen years of her life, there has been a year of horror for Jenny Slocumb. When she was fifteen, she wound up pregnant, deserted by the baby's father and pushed out on her own by her parents. When she was thirty, her own 15 year old daughter Liza, already experimenting with drugs, found herself pregnant. Then she took off, leaving Jenny to wonder for years what happened to her baby and her grandbaby.

Now she's 45. Her daughter returned home years ago with her granddaughter, Mosey, who Jenny is terrified is going to repeat the cycle of getting pregnant at fifteen. Liza suffered a recent stroke and is recovering, albeit slowly, under Jenny's care. What else can go wrong, she thinks? Oh, little does she know... when she hires someone to remove the willow tree from her back yard in hopes of installing an in-ground pool to assist in her daughter's recovery, the unearthing reveals a small silver box... filled with bones.

As the mystery of whose bones were buried under the willow begins to unravel, the history of these three, wonderful, curious, strong southern women emerges. It's a fascinating tale of motherhood, sisterhood, friendship and betrayal. It's about how wonderful and how terrible small towns can be for anyone slightly "different" and how family bonds are made and kept.

There were moments of frustration for me with this book, because one of the characters - Mosey, to be specific - had some trains of thoughts that made me want to shake her. But, of course, all that is perfectly normal for 15 year old girls, despite their best efforts. This was well-written, and all of the characters were outstanding and very richly detailed. I loved, in particular, the little quirks of southern living that cropped up from time to time and reminded me of my own time living in the southern US.

This is a book that might make you cry if you're tender-hearted, but will definitely make you smile if you have a soul. It has enough mystery to keep you guessing, and enough exploration of deep issues to make you feel as if you've really accomplished something wonderful when it's finished. All around, this book is one of those wonderful experiences that will haunt you long after you turn the last page.

View all my reviews

Book Review - Blackout

Blackout by Mira Grant
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I was so sad to reach the last page of this book. I'm so sad that the trilogy is over and I'm closing the door on some amazing characters and a fascinating world that I absolutely loved visiting. Oh! But wait! I just discovered there are some prequel type books available in ebook format for this series. Yay! Okay, now back to reviewing, where I can be in a happier place than I would be if it really was OVER over, yanno? Yeah.

Okay, so, if you've read the previous two books in this series, you're aware that there's been a pretty scary zombie war, but that the government has sort of recovered, the populace has been locked down in a society where we enter rooms one at a time through blood test activated doors that are prepared to smother us in decontaminant foam if we show the slightest indication of "amplification" or, to be precise, zombification.

This novel picks up not long after the end of the last. The blogger news crew, or the remains of it after the ravages they faced in the previous two books, are still holed up with their favourite mad scientist up in the woods of the northwest. As usual, there are zombies, and conspiracies, and mad chases and explosions.

When I say as usual, don't take that to mean the book is repetitive or boring. It's not. I love Mira Grant's writing style, and I positively adore these characters. The book is fast, action-oriented, and written in an accessible but intelligent way. It is a lot of fun, and like the others in the series, is kind of like being on a constant thrill ride.

There was a point, on page 389 to be precise, where I got all mad at the author, yelled, "What the fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck!??!!" and scared all the animals and particularly my husband, who knows that while I rarely curse, it usually indicates a severe bodily injury when it occurs. Naturally, he thought I was dying. No, I was just having a seriously skin-crawly minute. I had to put down the book (for the record, I did not throw it. I wasn't mad, just shocked) and walk away for a while.

After an hour I was back. I couldn't leave my favourite characters' fates in the balance any longer, and I'd gotten over my shock and dismay, and realized that really? That was probably going to happen all along and I had to get over it. Yes, I was skeeved out. But it was inevitable and I had to deal. It changed my opinion on the book, the series in general, the author a little bit, and the characters in a big, big way.

I'm not telling you what happened. It's just too big of a spoiler, and if someone had spoiled me on this, I really don't know if I'd have read the book.

You're going to have to say goodbye to a character you like in this book (nothing new in this series) as they make a big damn hero of themselves. And you're going to feel good about the ending, I think. I did, anyway.

There's some more anger at the Mason's adoptive parents, and that part always hits a little close to home to me. I accept the fact that some adoptive parents suck, just like some birth parents suck, but theirs in particular tick me off. I don't know if I'm mad at the characters, or at the author for creating them, but it does still bug me. There's a clear indication, as there was in previous books, that these adoptive parents don't love their adopted children the way they loved their birth child. And, you know, the author isn't saying all adoptive parents are like that, but some people like to paint everyone with such a broad brush. I just wish there was some balance in the portrayal.

But you can't always get *everything* you want out of one book series, and this book clearly delivers on every other front. I loved it. It closed the story arc that has built through the previous two books, tied up some loose ends, and gave, while not a happily-ever-after ending, an ending that I thought fit the book and the characters very, very well.

View all my reviews

Book Review - The Marriage Plot

The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The marriage plot is a literary device that was used often in fiction written in an earlier era. In Austen, for example, a woman's entire future might turn on her choice of a husband, as well as the fate of her family. In The Marriage Plot, Jeffrey Eugenides takes on the idea of the device of the marriage plot as it might occur in the modern era. Or, near modern as it were, since the novel takes place in 1982. That might be the modern era to Eugenides, but I don't recall much of that year being as it was a part of my childhood. In fact, I was tempted to mark this book as historical fiction.

I had a harder time getting into this book than I have had with previous books by this author. I just found myself not relating to any of the characters in the beginning. Madeleine seemed like a spoiled rich girl who was rude to her parents and took her friends for granted. Okay, she didn't just seem that way, she actually was that way, and I didn't like her. But I wasn't such a great person when I was college-aged either, and I was pretty curious about Mitchell, and later Leonard, who became the two male forces in her life.

Madeline is largely oblivious to the feelings of the more obviously "better" choice among the two, and is oblivious by choice to the problems of the more troublesome choice. Like many women, when trouble starts to surface, she sticks her head in the sand and holds tight to her infatuation, while the love of a friend pulses in the background of her life, even as he does his best to distance himself from her, both emotionally and geographically.

The post-college lives of the three are interesting, almost iconic for the era in which they lived. I was tickled by some of the music references, which I remembered my parents and older cousins listening to back then. The political and cultural climate seemed to be right on target, as far as I could recall, though as I said, my memories from that particular time are a little hazy due to my age.

I grew to care more and more about Madeleine as time went by and I got to know her better. It was one of those rare moments in fiction where a character becomes like a friend. I understood her motivations, I figured out why she acted the way she did toward her parents, and why she needed to "save" the man she loved. I came to understand her innocence, rather than her spoilage, was behind some of her behaviour and I came to like her. That made the second half of the book a much, much faster read than the first and much more enjoyable. If you're having the issue of not liking or understanding Madeleine at first, I urge you to keep reading. The payoff in the lovely, fascinating, sad ending of the book is very much worth it.

I really enjoyed this book, though I dropped one star from the rating because of not having as good of a time with the very beginning. Still, it's a very well-written literary novel with a unique take on an age-old plot.

View all my reviews